Sunday, August 12, 2007

What will my life be about?

I got so caught up in the fun (and ease) of adding photos that I forgot that this is supposed to be about writing for me. Since having kids, I just don't write as much as I used to-I can't let anymore time get away. So this is serving a useful purpose in keeping my family and friends updated on our lives as well as providing a fun place to write purposefully everyday.

I've noticed more and more lately, the things in life that mean the most to me, I don't prioritize as being the most important. Doesn't that seem weird? Instead things that shouldn't be (and really, aren't) are what I appear to spend most of my precious time on. Such as cleaning and organizing the house, decorating, and chores, chores, chores. It's so highly ironic (as anyone who really knows me) because my house is such a mess! But there it is-it's true and I never even get ahead of it, not by a long shot.

Our pastor brought this up today. He asked us to specifically choose one thing that we knew we were called by Him to do in this life. I believe God trusted us with these children to love and raise them and teach them about Him. (And if we aren't put here to live for ourselves but to know and love God, well, I should be learning that myself). Then the pastor asked us, basically, how are we doing in that one thing. Well, honestly, I'd have to say that I believe Sean and the kids would think the house and my projects were the most important thing to me, simply by my actions. They can't read my mind. I even have to remind myself, to do what I should be doing (like looking the kids in the eyes and spending time with them, not racing around working, talking to them as I do so). However, there is that saying-what you want to do, you will find the time to do. So, it may be more true that I do prefer doing my projects than spending time playing games or being outside-those things that build relationships. Because that's what I like to spend my time and energy on.

So, there, that's quite a revelation for me....and all on a pretty public forum. That's an interesting experience. Ever feel like you don't really know yourself?

Hmmm....well, I don't want it that way, that's for sure. I don't want to waste my life mindlessly like that! That's crazy! Who cares about that stuff? I mean, it's well and good, and I need some order to function in a healthy manner. But not ahead of my relationships...which brings me to part 2....

I'm a good one to say, all the time, boy, I need to get together with....(insert friends name)....more often. I'm just so busy!! (whine, whine, whine) I can endlessly bemoan the fact that time flies by and I've lost touch with someone. But really, how lame is that? I have the same amount of time as anyone else....and it's not because of the kids because they LOVE to have company. It's ME....I feel like I've got to have the house all perfect before I can invite anyone over. Which is ridiculous because 1) like I said above, I never get ahead of the housework and 2) it's usually destroyed and I don't even care, 10 minutes after they've arrived.

So, I've got to find a balance here...and the first thing I'm going to start with is: instead of running around in the morning, I'm going to make it a priority to eat breakfast (or at least have my smoothie) with Sean before he leaves for work. I'm also going to play outside or a game with the kids once in the morning and once in the afternoon. I've still got responsibilities so I can't play all day. The kids do help me a lot around the house, sometimes that's a perfect opportunity for some interesting conversations. I wonder why playing is so hard anyway?? Sean is great at it, he plays all the time with the kids.

Above all, I'll remember, God gave us this wonderful family. Like someone once told me, "This isn't a dress only have one shot." It's a matter, as I'm reminded once again, of thinking on the right things. There are many good things and then there are the best things.


Julie Anderson said...

Hey Julie, too!
I can so relate to what you are syaing about letting my time go to important matters, but not the imperitive (Dale Carnegie). I spend so much time working in my yard and house that I don't spend any time alone with God. That is the most important thing I need to do and I am not doing it. Oh sure I pray through out the day...usually to confess a wrong attitude because I didn't out on my daily armor. I also read the inspirations sent to me by family, but in order to stay spiritually fed I MUST study and meditate on His word daily. I feel your pain girl!!

kim said...

A very wise Bible teacher taught me several years ago that "I'm not raising a house; I'm raising kids". For me, though I know I'm called to be their momma...I want that "satisfaction" that I feel when something is finished, put away, cleaned up, etc. But I press on...for one day I hope to be that Proverbs 31 mom whose children rise up and call her blessed. Press On!!